Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Cheap Bastard.

If you've never been in therapy (college. Long story, maybe later), this entry in which I am in fact a cheap bastard at heart will not look familiar.

Ok so I'm like sitting here in the lobby of The Standard again (waiting to get my hairdid), and laughing my ass off AGAIN at the latest issue of VICE magazine, in this case the "I call bullshit on..." article and the "do's and don'ts". The do's and don'ts almost never fail to disappoint, but there are always a couple of gems of articles in there that make me look like a complete idiot in public-it never fails. I'm always reading Vice in public because when I get it , I pretty much have to read it right there.

This isn't the point, however. The point this time is how fucking often I get my hair cut. It's literally been (I don't know exactly how long, since I don't have internet access at this second, nor do I have fact-checkers at my beck and call, but oh well, it was right before E3, which started the 13th, so it was probably right around then, you know, I had to look good on-camera and whatnot. Did I, who knows, I bombed. Now I've totally lost the flow of my sentence in that overly-long parenthetical aside, now to jump back into the sentence, I think I was talking about how long it's been since I had a haircut) like two or three weeks, though my guess would be two weeks on the nose. TWO WEEKS. It's not like I'm trying to overdo the grooming thing, I'm not trying to become some �ber-groomed, hi-maintenance kind of person, but seriously, sometimes you just have one of those days where I wake up and say "OK, I have the asian fro going on right now (where my hair just sticks out like a porcupine)the only choice I have today is to wear a fucking hat." This is ok in winter (or what passes for winter here in LA), but on the day after Memorial Day? Beanies don't work. Sneaks up on you, it does. This is why I get my hairdid here. $19. I can do that, every couple of weeks. I used to pay more, but that adds up. What is the point of this post? I don't know, I'm bored and I've already read my magazine and I'm bored, I've already had an $11 Ketel One on the rocks and don't really want to pay for another but I don't want the fucking waiter to think I'm cheap by changing up my drinks. Even my tiBook is eliciting "Oh that's not a 17" Powerbook" look from passers-by. Maybe the fact that I was reading a free magazine adds to that cheap-bastard stink I have hanging around me. I drive up in a dirty car for a sub $20 haircut, order JUST ONE $11 drink, and type away on a 15" tiBook. It's not even a 12", which would be cool because it's small. It's the middle-child one, the not-nearly-as-sexy one.
Epiphany! I'm a cheap bastard. I had no idea!

One thing popped into my head as I looked the mirror at my new haircut. I never watched the show, but I saw the fucker on like, the news or something. Ready?


don't that beat all? Except for Ruben, whoever that is.