Thursday, September 25, 2003

dirty little secret

i was futzing around here at my desk at the office this morning when one of my friends (ok, my boss) walks into my office with a big shit-eating grin on his face. (As if he would have a shit-eating grin elsewhere on his body) as usual, i pretended to be busy and looked back down to my computer, which prompted him to start talking in fairly recognizable language, as if he was quoting something very familiar--i just couldn't place it.

after about 30 seconds of this, he finally said something like "porsche is sexy; volvo is sexier", which i realized came from my dirty little secret: my online personals ad.

i was a tiny bit perplexed. in my blabbermouth jibber-jabber moments, i had mentioned that i was doing the online personals thing a while ago, but i was pretty sure i was too embarassed to actually show him the ad itself--but here he was, directly quoting from it--it had to be from one of the big blabbermouths in the office.

"do you have a browser window open? you're going to die when you see this."
"i can in a second--how did you see that, did i show that to you?"
"open up (name withheld to protect myself).com and scroll down."
"oh shit. oh shit. oh shit. please don't show anybody."

featured personal of the day. what's more insulting is that i haven't got ANY emails. i mean shit, am i hot or not? i have 47 friends on friendster, and they're all quality... bleh.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

i'm going to the 'coov!

the AIGA (american institute of graphic arts) is having their national design conference in vancouver late october (23-26), and the Behemoth Advertising Agency is paying my way.

The conference will be ok, maybe. Probably, it will be ok. I am super excited however about vancouver itself, which i am taking a week to explore after the conference ends. Avid readers will remember my excitement about vancouver on the november 11 post from last year. (i read it again, and think "was bowling for columbine that good?"--yes, yes it was) I've been reading City of Glass by Douglas Coupland and old posts to try to get a feel for the city and what i should check out, especially where to find a canadian woman to marry so i can move there. I wonder how the trucker hat thing is playing out in vancouver?


There is nothing worse than Wall Street guys that ride Harleys and dirt bikes. It makes you just want to stretch a sharp wire across Park Avenue and watch all their customized helmets go flying through the air like popcorn as your friends pick up the headless bodies and start walking them around like it�s Weekend at Bernie�s.

monday night

last night i yelled at neve campbell, sang karaoke, and threw a burrito into the street. so far this morning, i drank a full liter bottle of water, a can of v8, and a bottle of gatorade. i am now working on some coffee.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

w.w.a.n.p.d? (what would any normal person do?)

i was minding my own business riding my bike on venice beach today riding around with the skaters, learning some new stuff. a coupla kids rolled up on bmx bikes and start talking to me--and when i say kids, i mean kidskids, all like 14 or 15 years old and whatnot--young enough to have to wear helmets when they ride their bikes. now this happens a lot, and i don't mind, i was a kid once and i would ask older riders stupid questions, and i would be really excited when they were nice to me and were encouraging and whatnot, so i try to do the same. then out of the blue, big sister rolled up on her pink 1953 schwinn cruiser, and then the cat got my tongue. i mean, here was this really cute girl, really good style, recognized my dead rat stickers from vice magazine, nice, funny, not afraid to be a little dorky, nice enough to let her brother and his friend stay at her place in venice (in venice!) which of course made me a babbling idiot--just a puddle of goo AND THEN I DECLINED A LUNCH INVITATION.

sometimes i am my own worst enemy.

Sunday, September 14, 2003


it was more helmet-like with a mullet coming out the back.

back in the 3.2.3.

i was in the 323 this saturday, as i needed to visit sarah at rudy's. you see, i had the asian mullet thing going a little tiny bit, which is not-so-good for someone as single as i.

anyway, i had a good time. thanks 323.

where "anyway, i had a good time. thanks 323." is in the post used to be longer entry, a lot longer. i felt a little guilty for being so self-indulgent, talking about every single detail of my day, first the haircut then to buy some clothes so i don't look so nappy at work, including one of my overly-long asides about the contents of the goodie bag that came with the purchase of jeans of all things, which included (among other boy-band accoutrements), sew-on patches, a hat (trucker-style, natch), and wristbands (to be work somewhere either above or below the elbow). where was i? oh yeah, then amoeba or something. uh... whatever. i forget. actually, this whole addendum is to say that i shouldn't have erased it. it was funny. now it's gone. and i'm even more self-indulgent than when i started.

Sunday, September 07, 2003

so over it.

i tried to change my email address that's linked to my friendster account and it didn't work, so i'm locked out. i cannot log into friendster. this has a) greatly increased my productivity at work and b) pissed me off to no end. i've sent like 8 really nice emails to them a week ago and haven't heard a peep. bastards.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

90+ dollars for this?

That's right, Paul Weller is back for 3 acoustic nights at the House of Blues (2 in Hollywood, 1 night in Anaheim). October 8-9, and October 14. $30 a ticket, 3 nights, do the math.

If you see me at the show and you say "I'm not gay or anything, but I would totally do Paul Weller." to me, then totally I'll buy you a drink.

Monday, September 01, 2003



my comment:
sales didn't bother me until i moved into my new neighborhood, where people have yard sales on the small patches of grass in front of their 6 unit apartment buildings, attracting roving bands of families in rusted blue ford aerostars circa 1988 choking up the already narrow streets between melrose and beverly. look, i don't want any of your rack of flowery dresses or your swedish semi-disposable furniture or your old callanetics tapes, i'll give you the $50 that you might have made that day to take them to goodwill. until then, wait til you have a goddamn yard.
estate sales are a different story.
no. 61 / 10.14.2002, 10:13 AM

i had a yard sale on sunday. for the record, i don't have a yard. i live in an apartment building on a walk street off of venice beach. i am a hypocritical asshole. how 'bout that!

hey, disposable income + lack of storage space = yard sale! come take advantage of years of unchecked spending. it's amazing, but i pretty much sold everything i put out there. losers.