Tuesday, November 25, 2003

battle of the bulge.

after a particularly inspired act of self loathing last night (eating at del taco), i pondered the blossoming relationship that my gut has been having with the top of my pants lately.

"i mean shit, i'm fairly active, why is this happening to me? how can i be gaining weight? is it time to do atkins again? i mean, what did i have for lunch, a small salad, right?"

i looked down at my tray--two taco wrappers, a quesadilla wrapper, a half-empty DIET coke, and two half-pound bean burrito wrappers. HALF-POUND x 2. do the math.

Monday, November 17, 2003

ye of great taste!

i know i've been sort of lacking lately in the updates section, it's generally been a procrastination activity, and i've been bizzy biz lately. i have a question though maybe if you could maybe answer it...

what is your home page when you start your internet browser? (your start page?) mine embarassingly enough is friendster. i'm stuck at 64. it's killing me.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003


so i'm home sick today, for the second day in a row. by sick, i mean really sick. i woke up at 1AM two nights ago feverish and hallucinating and spent the rest of the day in bed or running to the bathroom to take care of business. i couldn't look at a computer because focusing on type that small made me nauseous, much less go into work to finish up concepting for the big presentation later that day. today the fever is gone, but i'm still not close to 100%, so i'm home.

i'm home, it's raining, i'm watching pootie tang (holy shit, what a fucking funny ass movie, though people either love it or hate it), my computer is popping up little reminders of things i need to do today, and i realize that it's my friend bitchface's 30th birthday. (name withheld because really, it ain't none of your business). anyway, i can't go to her birthday party obviously because well, i'm peeing out my ass at inopportune times, i'm weak, i'm dizzy, the whole bit. whatever.

i call a local florist she's recommended in the past, and i don't really know what to order--well, it's a girl, it's her birthday, not poofy, more contemporary, maybe something in a bowl, oh yeah, please sign it "dear bitchface, happy birthday, sorry i can't make it tonight, love sx70"

after i hung up i started thinking about what sort of arrangement they might be putting together. did i give them enough info? are they going to resort to reading between the lines to figure out what to do? i mean, how many calls must they get from some dude giving vague direction as to what sort of flowers he's sending accompanied with a note that says "i'm sorry" somewhere in it? i felt like calling back and explaining that actually, i'm very sick and that's why i can't come out tonight, i'm not some jerk sending flowers because i fucked up. i mean, what if the girl at the flower shop was in a bad mood? i'm half expecting that they send some half-dead baby's breath at this point. bleh.

"Pootie Tang will draw you a picture of how he gonna kick your ass, then mail it to you ten days in advance. The picture gets there right? You're goin', "What the hell is this?" and then Pootie Tang knocks on your door, Promptly kicks your ass and you still won't know what happened to you!"

Monday, November 10, 2003

odi et amo

Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiri. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

Sunday, November 09, 2003

i played both parts in "the fool and i"

dammit. it's wet outside, which means the farmer's market will be a bust. i can't believe i'm even awake at 9:30. considering that i got home at 4am from a birthday party last night, you can see how herculean an effort this is. i think the aleve is starting to kick in though, so maybe it won't hurt to try to sleep anymore. maybe?

so yeah, last night i was at the sunset trocadero , which was cool i guess but really, sunset strip on a saturday night? maybe i'm getting too old but the strip and all it's various pains in the ass like traffic and $25 for parking is just kinda sorta ridiculous. i however, did manage to have a fabulous time with my friends despite myself and topped it off by shoveling korean food in my face at bcd tofu house) at like 2:30am.

anyway, it's sort of a relief that it's wet outside--i don't have to get up and put together a "just got out of bed but fucking hell if i don't look fabulous" farmer's market outfit. heh. yeah. i'm joking. seriously. it comes naturally, i don't have to premeditate it. HA! anyway, thank fuck i can just stay home and vegetate. try to sleep, sx. try to sleep.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

the pendulum swings

i was standing at a bar in vancouver talking with someone about how much i was enjoying their city and whatnot, when they mentioned somethinig about "yes, but alcohol is very expensive here, and you have free-pour in the states" as they nodded at my drink, which i had to specifically ask (and pay for) a double shot of gin or vodka or whatever it was. to clarify, in the states, bartenders generally pour the liquor into the glass and estimate either by eyeballing it or by counting how much should go into a drink. in canada (and in strip clubs in the states--theoretically of course), they either have meters on the bottles or they pour the liquor into a shot glass before pouring into the drink, ensuring that they're not giving you a drop more than you pay for. i shrugged, thinking it was a small price to pay and probably in the long run didn't matter much.

last night, i went to the arsenal, which has been a local of sorts for me lately--and the first bar i'd been to since returning to the states. i got fairly loaded after three drinks. these were three free-poured happy hour drinks, which in total cost $9USD not including tip. it would cost much more than $9USD to get as "i can't drive anywhere for at least a little while" drunky as i got last night. compared to the watery crap they pass off as a cocktail in vancouver, maybe the states ain't so bad.

Sunday, November 02, 2003

a reason to move to canada.

the toyota echo hatchback kicks ass. in person, it's as cute if not cuter than the mini and without the hype and the markup, as well as being privity to lots of aftermarket stuff from trd and all the other import tuners, which should make it at least as zippy as the mini. AT LEAST. you'll have plenty of cash to get one as they start at around $12,000CDN, which is somewhere around $10,000USD. it's sold as the toyota yaris in europe and now in canada, but it's probably too much at odds with toyota's new youthful scion brand (the yaris/echo hatchback share the same platform) for us to get it here. it gets more than 40 MPG, and considering my newfound eco-friendliness (which you will hear about soon, i promise. i promise), it's looking mighty nice. c'est dommage.

oh well, i guess i'm stuck with ingrid (volvo v70) for now i guess, at least until i figure out how to get one of these fuckers into the country. oh, or until i move. i mean shit, who would ever take me seriously in this thing?


i'm back. seems like not much has changed here in LA in the 10 days i've been gone. my apartment is just as i left it, save for a dog-choking (i wish) pile of junk mail, credit card offers, and bills--it also looks like both the transit workers and the grocery workers are still on strike. there were still hot mamas in their sevens and contrived bedhead looks at the santa monica farmer's market today, and the weather was just absolutely gorgeous as always.

so i've been gone for 10 days and all i have to talk about is the weather? well yes I was in VANCOUVER for 10 days and let's just say (save for one rainy day) that the weather (albeit a little crisp) was BEAUTIFUL. breathing in nice clean air was awesome and the one thing i worried about the whole time was all the smoke and ash and whatnot i would have to deal with at home.

"oh, you're from LA, eh? pity about the fires, eh. well, enjoy the clean air while you can", almost every canadian said consolingly. this of course is after they asked if i was up in vancouver filming for something. in any case, it must have been some sort of divine nod to have the rain come to los angeles right before i returned to wash away all the crud. los angeles was just as i left it, still sprawling, still beautiful, and still smart enough to know that if i came back to a fiery stinkin' mess, i'd be audi 5000.