so mark mcgrath was sitting across from me while i was waiting for my hair to get cut. i see that motherfucker everywhere i go. he not only looked like shit, but he looked old.

in any case, today i designated my new haircuttress for life. i usually bounce from cutter to cutter but i think she's the one. she has the "wild" card from UNO tattooed on her upper arm, as if to say "you can trust me with your hair, i won't make you look like you want to be on the cast of friends, or for god sakes, even look like you watch that fucking show". it is all about trust, yo. all 'bout the trust.

anyway, i hadn't had a haircut for ages as i was sick of my last hairthing, but now...NOW we have a PLAN. soon enough, i will be insufferably hot. or not. i still give myself only an 8 on the face, not much i can do about that, although the body is tighter than an erik spiekermann layout, so that's good and uh, sex appeal, well i guess the erik spiekermann reference would definitely definitely definitely bring that down some.

addendum for those too drug-addled or whatever to get the subtleties: i've actually never watched the are you hot or whatever show it is that renegade jerkyboy is on, so if i have somehow screwed up the reference, well there you go.